I was the white moderate. I was sitting back and reaping the benefits of white privilege while my friends and their loved ones struggled to keep their rights.
Today is March 24, 2020: My one-year anniversary of being sober. It’s nine o’clock at night and I’m just now realizing I never thought I would make it this far.
Before I became the marketing director of this day habilitation center, my experience with severe disabilities was limited.
“I’ve always loved you, Jessica,” I type in the messaging app of my friend’s iPod Touch. “I won’t let anyone get in the way of our love.” Although Jessica and I did make out once, I’m not in love with her. I’m writing to her under the clever alias “Jason Smith” because my friend, Ceci, and I are bored. The year is 2010, and we’re 19-year-old community college dropouts with only one hobby: baking. And I don’t mean making cookies. When Ceci asked me, “Do you wanna pull a prank on Jessica?” I was eager for a new activity. Plus, Jessica’s an esteemed partier, prone to good vibes and nearly nightly blackouts. If anyone can take a joke, it’s her.
Dallas Yoga Magazine
I’m no one in the fitness community. I do not have a personal training certification, a nutritionist license or an Instagram page with 10,000+ followers. I just started yoga teacher training, but I still can’t do crow pose, even though I’ve been working on it for over a year. I rock climb, but I’m terrified of heights, so my progress has been even slower there. But here’s why I’m writing this: I lost 40 pounds in two years, and I’ve kept the weight off for over a year now. This is my fitness journey.
Mayborn Literary Nonfiction Conference, July 2014
Awarded “Runner Up”
You have to buy the 2015 edition of Ten Spurs to read the full story, but here’s an excerpt:
“Like Riding a Bike”
Season 3, “Ducks in a Row,” April 2014
- The One with the Failed Gender Ideals: What the Jokes in Friends Tell Us about American Culture (Lady Queer Collective, 2020).
Works to Look Out for
I suspect you’ll have a lot more to read soon! Be on the lookout for personal essays about these things:
- Meeting my dad for the first time when I was 22
- An awkward conversation I had with my high school creative writing teacher
- An affair I had at the ripe age of 17
- A conversation (or two) with my mom that helped me understand her better
- Coming out as pansexual
- Taking a Tinder date to explore an abandoned mansion
- Getting stuck on a cruise during Hurricane Harvey